oh brother.
so last night my buddy called me while i was @ my dads.  phone went out and i just walked over to his house.


he said he got quiksilver's account.  which is cool.  71brd and 62rdm.  he doing shit with that iguess today after school


he told me not to tell kim something.  and i told him i dont talk to her anymore.  he asked 'why?'

my only real reason that i could follow up with was that she played for gear.  not for friends



which,  she not lying.   idc what she says.  she ditched my LS for another one.  now with AV she got points and shit to make sure that no one ever gets fucked over.  which is great.  no friends.  just business ^^. supposedly she changed her PW and i cant get on anymore.  idk though yassin told me that.   yassin mad at her too apparently.


ever since i stopped talking to kim i kinda stopped playing ffxi.   i honestly feel like she made the game more like work for me.  im very mad at her for getting me so involved with her and her life with everything.  and then just pushing me away for gear.   i had enough of her shit.


she said she had friends before CoVs and myself.   Everything and others who in AV.  and i really dont know them so i dont wanna say anything about them cause thats mean <_<    but idk if they play for gears or for friends.  and honestly AV.  idk if you read this or not but there a good chance she just gonna quit after she gets her gear.  or sell her char.  college students need $$$  .  and now if someone reads this and tells her she wont do it just to prove me wrong.  and same thing with that sentence,  she'll sell it to prove how that last one was wrong etc..

i will say that i genuinely loved kimberly back in may,   but it slowly started to go.  recently i made a new AIM and sent all of it to my buddys, didnt realize i sent to kim as well.   she just said 'ok'    and i havent been on it since i gave it to her =/


idk how much of a jerk im sounding like right now,  but i dont want anything bad to happen to her,     i kinda dont know what i want.  like holy shit that'd be awesome if i got my friend back and she played to see me everyday just like i did for her.  i dont think she'll go for that though.  last i remember i really let her know how angry i was at her for just fucking me over and putting me through all this shit since she joined AV.  her first day back at college.   she txt'd ME.   you know who i had to tell about my first day ever at college ?   just RL friends.  no kim.  that little black void in my heart.  like i couldnt wait to go to college.  kim give me advice and shit.  i tell her about my chinese english teacher.  all that shit.  she wont know about it just because she plays for gear and not friends.   i remember her saying something like 'friends are replaceable,  gear isnt'  (not exactly that but you get the idea <_<)


i dont understand how you can go play ffxi after all these years and still just play to get your smn relic. i only played to see my friends everyday.  my only old friends that still play is like cac thang jork RK and medi.  if cac quit i'd be gone like a flash.  


i really dont care about shura togi anymore.  herocau broke his promise to me. it wasnt a hard promise to keep either.  it wouldnt have cost him anything in game or RL.  just to keep a promise. he'll never have my trust again.   it as simple as that <_<

the only promise i still have going for me is to meet cac and thang one day .   which  is do-able.